TITBC*: No PETA For This One

*“TITBC” stands for “Take it to BabyCenter,” a common insult on a mommy forum I visit. It’s used when people post cutesy, sweet stories about their kids, typically with a “Kid’s Say the Darnedest Things!” vibe.  Basically, stuff that is cute when you are parent-in-love with your squishy little cuddle bunny, but not so cute when you are a stranger who doesn’t give a shit about the kid saying it. I don’t post stuff like that there, but since this is as close as I’m getting to a baby book for these kids, I’ll be putting them here.

Every morning and afternoon at school drop-off, we have to fight our way through this crowd of oblivious parents and obnoxious kids who go to a school down the street.  This Other School has a huge yard just behind the front gate, yet every damn person who attends the school, plus their mini-entourages of grandparents, siblings, parents and nannies, insists on congregating in front of the gates on a particularly narrow stretch of pavement.  It’s a nightmare to maneuver our huge American stroller travel system through this gauntlet of a$$holes, and I’m constantly dodging old people, or kids on scooters, or (in one particularly maddening situation) an 18 month old who was just darting back and forth while his mom filed her nails.

I am always, always, ALWAYS infuriated by this stretch of sidewalk.  The only thing that makes me feel remotely better is to try to shame these horrible people by passive aggressively telling my children out loud how rude they are being (that’s just Parenting 101, folks).

Today I was telling Will that I NEVER wanted to see him behaving like these people were, and that it was important to always try to make life easier for people instead of standing in their way like a complete %@%#@ing idiot (in not so many words).  I was feeling good about this dual purpose life lesson.

His only response was “Mom, you know who we shouldn’t try to make life easier for?  Coyotes.  We should kill all of them, because they deserve it.”

Wyle E.'s worst nightmare.

Wyle E.’s worst nightmare.

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